Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tiger Woods Offered Job As "Barista" By Frank Myers Auto Maxx

Frank Myers Auto Maxx, a used car dealership in North Carolina, is offering the newly created position of “Barista” to ridiculed pro golfer Tiger Woods.

Frank Myers Auto Maxx officials confirmed today that Woods, who has been accused of having as many as 15 extramarital affairs, is being offered the “Barista” job at the dealership’s free coffee bar. Woods, who was injured in a car accident near his Florida home after colliding with a fire hydrant and a tree on November 27, 2009, could possibly lose millions of dollars in product endorsements. Tracy Myers, owner of Frank Myers Auto, said that he believes Woods shouldn’t be condemned. “He is human and he has made a mistake, as we all have,” Myers said. “As a Christian and a business owner, I think we should all stop pointing fingers and condeming Mr. Woods. Instead, we should love him and pray for him and his family. As such, Tiger Woods is welcome to join me and the entire team here at Frank Myers Auto Maxx as our first “Barista”, and certainly is welcome to at least participate in our Thursday Bible study should he choose not to accept our generous offer.” Myers, who has never played golf before, is convinced Woods will, “easily will be able to handle the transition to being a Barista,” Myers said.

Frank Myers Auto Maxx is located at 4200 North Patterson Avenue in Winston-Salem, NC. As far as Tiger Woods, the latest “scandal” to plague the faded golf star is being reported by The New York Times. They report that a Canadian doctor who helped Woods recover from knee surgery is being investigated by the FBI under suspicion of supplying athletes with performance-enhancing drugs. Woods's agent, Mark Steinberg, releases a statement in response: "I would really ask that you guys don't write this. If Tiger is not implicated, and won't be, let's please give the kid a break."